Son & Daughter

Peace of heart, confusion of mind, water streaming in river, behind birds singing in trees growing, hair washed, body cleaned, drinking tea, with much thought about my son & daughter.
Squirell on rock watching man in van, writing to unload my limit of overloaded thoughts. That girl dreamed that her intimate connection with me should end. wow! Relationship, how amazingly dynamic, a perfect medicine to bring about reflection to fully live my truth... Drinking beer after tea for breakfast resting by the river. I yearn to hear my children; playing yelling yapping screaming. To watch them running jumping moving falling balancing their beautiful bodies on these river stones. Like; trees, squirells, crows, snakes, lizards, just living on this earth is enough. Some days my mind does not stop, imagining the ways of reconnecting with my childrenn. What do they look like, what does their voice say , Are they held in kindness, love and understanding, is anyone listing ? Maria saw them, " they are beautiful just like pappa".
And, someday I will meet you both again out there in the matrix of oneness and love....

Slurry Swiming

Mornings- reverent early morning sunrise. my body's mind full of dreams & family. Sunshine streaming through oaks and pine, dappling my waking naked body. My inner Veshy a sleeping floor, a gathering place for clothing food blankets & books. my two headed fish - swimming both upstream & downstream, strong in confused focus, caught in a slurry of no mission here or there to complete task... I sit live eat breath think thought of spoken word, leaving staying coming & going. my foundation f#!%^- up. my building unable to soar without soil in roots. where does this need of family community foundation roots shelter home & grounding come from ? I am scared to stay and scared to leave. so i find a place and try not to move. the wittlesy family land has been welcoming warming nourshing & comforting. a strand of security in this crumbling ocean of reflection. a broken life of a brave man seeking deep growth & a man looking outward weathering the sad lonely storm, seeking shelter where comfort finds him. Unsure how to rebirth in a story that wants me dead and gone...