Slurry Swiming

Mornings- reverent early morning sunrise. my body's mind full of dreams & family. Sunshine streaming through oaks and pine, dappling my waking naked body. My inner Veshy a sleeping floor, a gathering place for clothing food blankets & books. my two headed fish - swimming both upstream & downstream, strong in confused focus, caught in a slurry of no mission here or there to complete task... I sit live eat breath think thought of spoken word, leaving staying coming & going. my foundation f#!%^- up. my building unable to soar without soil in roots. where does this need of family community foundation roots shelter home & grounding come from ? I am scared to stay and scared to leave. so i find a place and try not to move. the wittlesy family land has been welcoming warming nourshing & comforting. a strand of security in this crumbling ocean of reflection. a broken life of a brave man seeking deep growth & a man looking outward weathering the sad lonely storm, seeking shelter where comfort finds him. Unsure how to rebirth in a story that wants me dead and gone...